How do I get my parents to understand me?

Okay,

basically I am fourteen and I have a diary. My mum found my diary the other day that i had only started writing about a week and a half ago and read it.

In my diary I had written about how I had smoked, drank alcohol, taken drugs and had sex.

Okay, i know I'm fourteen but here me out,

My parents already knew that I drank alcohol at times.

They also knew that I had smoked but that I am not a smoker, I just smoked when there were cigarettes around.

However, they didn't know about the drugs or sex.

I have been high twice. And it just so happened that the last time I got high was only a few days ago. The time before that was about 4-5 months ago.

Also, i just so happened to lose my virginity a few days ago too. and I wrote that in my diary and they read it. So it's not like i take drugs and have sex on a regular basis. It just happened to happen a few days before she read my diary.

And I know i shouldn't have had sex, it just happened :/



Anyway, my mum was really upset with my and so was my dad. My mum was crying telling me how upset she was with me for having sex after she had told me i shouldn't. She didn't care as much about the drugs.

I am basically grounded for a month unless i can behave and not mope around in my room all day.

i don't know what to do.

My mum expects me to act like I'm happy and that nothing has happened when actually I have cried NON STOP since yesterday when they found my diary.

I have also told my boyfriend i need a break because I'm really stressed my mum found out we had sex and i haven't been able to see or talk to my friends.

I am so miserable.

My parents keep telling me they don't want me to be miserable when they are clearly the reason I am. And they punishment isn't going to change me ONE BIT.

I know I won't have sex for a long time but I am happy to get high, drink and smoke again.



How can I get round them?

How can I be happy again?

How can they realise them punishing me like this is pointless.



i know loads of people are going to be dead angry with me,

telling me I am a stupid teenage girl but please just understand where I am coming from.

Please help me. thanks.x